Avoid these harmful techniques
Blaming everyone around
A person dissatisfied with their life tends to blame every person around: parents, teachers, bosses or the state. They blame the surrounding for a failed relationship, unfulfilled potential, or the dream they failed to incarnate. As a matter of fact, we are talking about complexes that have evolved in somebody’s soul because a person hasn’t fulfilled their potential. To overcome this problem, such people have to realize that the core of the problem is not the surrounding world but their inner self.
As they say, if you want to see your severest enemy, have a look in a mirror. The point is that by definition, no events happening to us are good or bad. The universe is neutral in its attitude to people, so we are the only ones creating our own reality. It is our responsibility to color it; if we color it black, misfortunes will be drawn to us; dare we color it bright, luck and positive changes will follow us everywhere.
Thus, if you are really dissatisfied with something, stop complaining! Go and change it. Unless you start acting decisively to change things you don’t like, it may reasonably be assumed that you simply like the way it goes. So why complain and blame others?
Looking for excuses
As the saying goes, those who want are looking for chances, those who don’t want are searching for excuses. Indeed, this is the best description why people cannot become happy. Laziness prevents many of us from being happy! To justify their laziness, people tend to make up excuses referring to a lack of experience, money, necessary connections, close people, time, luck, etc. This list may be endless, but it doesn’t make us closer to our dream. To reach any goal, you’d better stop looking for excuses and start considering the ways to reach it.
Get rid of your fears
It is not a secret that fears don’t let some people become happy. People are afraid of changes, losing the things they already have, novelty, and of leaving their comfort zone. When a person is afraid of something, it is very hard to explain to them that fear is just an illusion preventing us from feeling happy. Try telling yourself “I am not afraid!” Once you succeed to overcome your fears, your life will become better and much more attractive. Besides, this is why psychologists recommend doing things that scare us; because genuine happiness lurks exactly behind things that scare us the most. Also, we never know what happens unless we try. So, why lose potential golden chances?
Proving you are right
The desire to prove everyone that you are right is not productive at all and even detrimental. There would always be people doubting your words, actions, and strengths just because they are wicked, envious, or simply selfish. Such individuals will make you become defensive and prove that you’ve been right. But let’s face the truth; actually, justifications are nothing but fighting with windmills.
First of all, you won’t be able to prove a doubting person anything, you would just waste your time and precious life energy. Secondly, people who are truly interested in you really know who is right and wrong. That is why you’d better stop paying attention to others’ words and concentrate on your own development.
Remain yourself
Many people try to seem somebody they are not. They have made up a dream and imagine they correspond with that ideal image. Instead of taking small steps towards their dream every day, they pretend they are already there. However, you cannot fool people for a long time. You can make an impression during the first meeting, but sooner or later people will spot your true self and understand that you’ve preferred to seem better instead of trying to become better. To make matters worse, you cannot feel genuine happiness while wearing a mask. Remain yourself as one can experience true happiness in this state only.
Stop living up to others’ expectations
Have you been trying to fulfill others’ dreams since your teen years? Your parents expected you to have a big family, your teachers hoped you’d study hard and become a professional, your sweetheart wanted your business to flourish. But it’s exclusively your life! It is up to you to decide what it should look like; since you are going to live others’ life, not yours while trying to live up to others’ expectations. Listen to your inner voice, do what makes you feel comfortable and in peace with yourself. This is the only way to a happy life.
Stop criticizing yourself
Sure, constructive criticism may be very useful. However, some people tend to make themselves the cause of all troubles around them. In this respect, we have to understand that not everything depends on us, but we are still able to make our life better and happier. Any experience, even negative one, is precious and it may help you to reach future peaks of success. Stop humiliating yourself; cheer up and believe you can reach everything you want. Positive thoughts are far more beneficial than constant criticism of your own virtues.
Let the past go
A meaningful happy life implies constant moving forward. However, for this, you should stop looking back, and some people find it the hardest thing to do. They are stuck in the past, where they felt well and really happy. Those gone days cannot be returned, but a person simply doesn’t let them go and cannot free some space for new emotions and impressions. Having stuck in the past, you stop growing; that is why you need to let the past go and start looking forward to a happy future.
Forget about total control
Many of us cannot let happiness in their lives because we are trying to control everything around, from our private life to colleagues’ matters. Having set wrong priorities, a person tries to control everything since they believe that less control will make them lose what they have. This belief is so strong that a person cannot relax and let happiness enter their life. A piece of advice? Relax, stop controlling everything and just let people and things be the way they are.
Rejecting changes
As we’ve already mentioned, happiness is not a present, it is a result of perseverance. You can reach it only if you constantly move forward, which implies constant development, new people, and hobbies in your life. In general, you have to open up to the world and start accepting the new and progressive. With this approach, your life will become more fascinating and happier, of course.
Remember that life is constantly changing. The surrounding world is changing as well. Thus, if we want to be genuinely happy, we also have to change getting rid of things that are a burden to us; instead, let’s fill ourselves with things making us truly happy. A pretty simple recipe, isn’t it?