A habit of procrastinating makes our life considerably more difficult. Quite often, we spend more time on procrastination than we need to perform a definite task. To make matters worse, postponing makes us constantly feel anxious. We feel guilty for being late, ashamed of a hurriedly done task, and deeply regret having lost a number of wonderful opportunities. Thus, how can we get rid of this destructive habit?
Possible reasons
As British psychologist and coach Garry Sall believes, procrastination isn’t always a matter of our laziness or a lack of self-discipline. It is a direct consequence of a fear to make a mistake, to fail. Remembering a negative previous experience while performing a similar task, we feel anxious and afraid. The lower our self-esteem, the stronger these feelings. We try to avoid stress associated with a complicated, not interesting, or unpleasant task, especially if it is publicly assessed; that’s why we postpone.
Besides, according to American psychologist Neil Fiore, there are other reasons for procrastination as well: perfectionism, a fear of success, an absence of balance between work and free time, and negative thoughts about work and oneself. It can be said that procrastination is a mechanism of coping with anxiety caused by some tasks or decisions. Should we find other ways of fighting this anxiety, we will no longer need to procrastinate.
To better understand what procrastination is, let’s consider some inaccurate mottos of procrastinators.
Five erroneous mottos typical of procrastinators
I am what I do
What’s wrong? A vulnerable person who is prone to perfectionism thinks in the following way: “This project is a reflection of myself. If my boss or client dislikes it, I will feel rejected as a personality. The result of a project defines my worth.” People defining their worth by a task they perform are always under a lot of stress. That’s why we are so reluctant to start: the price is too high to immediately start working.
Way out. Develop a sense of self-worthiness and positive self-esteem which will help you to cope with any failure or mistake. Tell yourself more often: “Whatever happens, I will survive. My self-esteem will survive as well. I won’t let this project become my personal tragedy.” Provided that you learn to positively talk to yourself, you’ll find out you are calmly reacting to any tasks.
It’s a must
What’s wrong? We often procrastinate since we feel sorry for ourselves because we “have to” (pay a fine, go to a doctor, make a report, etc.) Feeling miserable, we often repeat “I am obliged to…” “I don’t want but I have to…” Such statements enhance a negative attitude to work implying that we would never willingly do it. Subconsciously performing the role of a victim, we create perfect conditions for procrastination – it defends us against outer pressure.
Way out. Say “It’s my choice” instead of “I have to.” You don’t need to want to do a task or love it. Why not simply make a decision to dedicate some time to it? As a result of your conscious choice, a task will become easier to perform.
I can’t say “No“
What’s wrong? Those people who never say “no” and try to help everyone around often have to procrastinate. They simply have no time left for their personal business.
Way out. Learn to say “No” firmly and confidently in order to avoid an ambiguous interpretation of your rejection. Should you passively say “Perhaps, I will do this,” get ready to procrastinate. If you can’t give an instant rejection, take some time to think. Consider all pros and cons. Remember that by saying “no” you don’t reject a person but their offer.
I am not ready to start
What’s wrong? If we are constantly assessing the scopes of a project and understand that it’s rather vague, our confidence is likely to vanish: a task seems even more difficult and we lose courage at the very thought of what we have to do.
Way out. Focus on the very first stage and get ready to start immediately. Just start. Tell yourself: “I will make one small step. I’ll just write a scratch or make just one call. I will concentrate and effectively work for 30 minutes. This is everything I need to do right now.” This way, you will productively direct your energy at specific actions. These small steps reduce the amount of work to small but significant tasks followed by a reward. As soon as the first step is made, a goal won’t seem as hard to reach as before.
I have no time to…
What’s wrong? Repeating dull statements like “I’ll have to work at the weekend,” “Go and have dinner without me because I have to complete one more task…” we feel isolated and at a loss. If we find no time to relax, we start considering life a burden that makes us lose more significant pleasant things.
Way out. Change words “I have no time for amusements” for “I have to find time to relax.” Take breaks and think about the rewards you will get after completing a definite set of tasks. Why not plan some walks, sports, meetings with friends, visits to a theatre or cinema? Such plans help to objectively assess the time you really have for work. And the rest you’ve deserved by short but effective periods of work won’t be imbued with a feeling of guilt.
All things considered, procrastination has deep psychological background; yet, we can get rid of this habit. To stop procrastinating, we need to realize what and why scares us. Most importantly, we have to come to grips with the fact that it’s quite normal to make mistakes. This is how we learn. Even a negative experience is useful since it teaches us to adequately react to misfortunes. Nobody has ever been or is perfect. As Erich Maria Remarque once said, “perfect people have to dwell in a museum.” The world we live in is far from perfect, thus, we also have a right to make mistakes. With this thought in mind, it’s easier to dare start doing something, isn’t it?