Why do some people consider challenges as a blessing that makes them stronger whereas others get broken and can’t restore their power even within years? How to become resistant? Rachel Fintzy, a psychotherapist, offers 15 steps that will help you to develop psychological resistance.
Going through a hardship, a lot of people believe they aren’t strong enough to cope with it. Very often, one may hear them saying: “Of course, he/she has overcome this; but I can’t do that.” As a matter of fact, it’s wrong to believe that psychological resistance is innate. People who confidently cope with failures, painful break-ups, and other problems haven’t been born with an iron will – they’ve become such people. Correspondingly, everyone can become such a person.
Psychologists define psychological resistance as an ability to restore after failures and easily adapt to changes, and this trait is to be developed. Make use of the following points to master this skill.
Useful points
Sustain a healthy relationship
May these be your family members, friends, or acquaintances from a support group. Communication should be based on mutual trust, care, and a desire to help each other. A discussion of problems helps us understand that we won’t be left alone and that others have also experienced something similar.
When we know that we can rely on close people, it creates a feeling of safety, and a level of psychological resistance goes up.
Face any hardship
Don’t escape reality. Never reject the things happening to you. Day after day, step by step do everything you can to cope with difficulties.
Believe that a problem can be solved
We can’t control everything, but we can control our responses for sure. Praise yourself for the steps you take to overcome a problem or critical situation. Believe that you can cope with a problem. Remind yourself of past victories – undoubtedly, you’ve already managed to cope with some difficult situation.
Master your problem-solving skills
Don’t let problems that seem unsolvable at first glance hinder your further movement. Think about what you can do right now to start solving a problem. Make up a list of possible actions, but don’t try to find an ideal solution that will meet all criteria, just generate ideas.
Once done with a list, analyze every point more precisely: what will you do in this definite situation, what will you start with, what consequences may your actions cause. Choose the most real variant and start working on it. If it doesn’t work, choose another one. You may find this approach banal, but it’s highly effective.
Act and move forward
Instead of getting paralyzed because of indecisiveness or procrastination, make a step forward. Divide a plan into small parts so that it wouldn’t seem difficult to implement. Start with small steps. Don’t focus on tomorrow’s troubles; live today. Perceive yourself not as a victim but as a fighter – rigid and persevering.
Accept changes as a part of your life
In the course of time, dreams, and plans we’ve cherished may become impossible to implement. This fact is painful to admit, but instead of regretting lost opportunities, why not direct your energy at the things that can be done now or in the future?
Accept negative emotions
Nobody has ever been promised that life will always be easy and pleasant. Let yourself experience the whole range of emotions. One of the signs of high psychological resistance is an ability to sympathize with oneself, accept the moments of sadness, anger, fear, and anxiety. These emotions are natural. We shouldn’t focus on them; but we shouldn’t reject them either: experiencing them, we learn to adapt to life.
Keep inner control
People with high psychological resistance believe in the importance of things they do. They take responsibility for their actions and deeds. People with the outer focus control, vice versa, accuse either the surrounding or others of their own failures.
Such an approach to life depresses, disappoints, and finally becomes a burden to us. Every choice influences the way events develop; thus, the time has come to assume responsibility for your actions.
Think how a struggle may help you
Overcoming difficulties, we develop and grow. Situations may affect various personality traits: some teach us to sympathize with ourselves while others make us realize our productivity. Perhaps, you’ve started to treat life with more gratitude? Ask yourself: “What does this situation teach me?”
Even if it seems incredible now, perhaps, in the future, you will be grateful for the person you’ve become in the process of overcoming difficulties.
Evaluate the problems in perspective
React to difficult situations adequately: if you feel that a small problem seems catastrophic, try to consider it from another standpoint. Ask yourself: “Will this be important for me in five years?” Excessive anxiety may knock you down so that you won’t be able to solve problems anymore.
Be optimistic
Try to stick to an optimistic and realistic point of view. Instead of the darkest scenario, imagine the brightest one. Being an optimist doesn’t mean ignoring problems or treating them not seriously. It implies that a person believes that everything will finally turn out fine.
Care about yourself
It’s simpler to go through tough times if you are both physically and emotionally fit. Healthy food, sleep, sports, and fine rest should be your core points. Be it meditations or prayers, an evening with friends or a walk with pets, do the things that make you happy and help you relax.
Find balance between outer help and your own resources
It’s quite normal to ask for help when you need it. Yet, we shouldn’t become completely dependent on others; this way, we will never learn to cope with problems ourselves.
“No” to self-destruction
Alcohol, drugs, gambling, overeating, and other kinds of addiction don’t help us to solve problems. These means only temporarily help us to pretend that there are no problems. As a matter of fact, problems will not only remain but also become aggravated by addiction, as well as money and health problems. Under such conditions, we will have considerably less strength to overcome a difficult situation.
Set short and long-term goals
Should you imbue every day of your life with sense, it will be easier for you to overcome difficulties. In some cases, you will be even able to use your experience to help others in the same situation. A rewarding practice, isn’t it?
Thus, to become psychologically resistant, you’ll have to work on yourself and change many of our habits. But challenges only make us stronger, remember that.